The jokes
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball, guu?
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.