The jokes

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.

As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, because they just cry in the darkness.

Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?

There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.