The jokes
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years. 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.