The jokes
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.
Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.
Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.