The jokes
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!