The jokes
I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"