The jokes
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"