The jokes
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.