The jokes

Why aren't koalas actual bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.

Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.

Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.

Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.

The deaf man said to the waiter:

"Mmmm."

The waiter said, "No English."

Then the deaf man signed, "F U."

A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?

When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.

When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂

You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

What's the fastest cake? Scone!

Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.

But no one would do it.