The jokes
Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!