The jokes
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?
The finish line at the marathon bombing.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
What lives on the forest floor?
Forest Gump.
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"