The jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
You. You're the joke.
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
Why did the bike fall over?
'Cause it was wheely tired.
Why was the German in a hurry?
Because he was Rush-ian to get to work.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.