The jokes
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow lady?
Snowballs!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.