The jokes
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?
Igloos it.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
Why does the Sun go to school?
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.