The jokes
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
"You're pointless!"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.