The jokes
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
What do you call a dead human?
A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon!
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.