The jokes

Add joke

I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.

The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.

He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

  • 8

    • Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

    Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

    Guy 1: Don't you?

    Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

    Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

    **Meow...**

    Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

  • 0

    • Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

    A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.

    Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

    A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.

    What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.

    Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

    So you're the one!

  • 3

    • A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

    While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

    "Nun" kills the two guys.

    🤔

  • 4

    • A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.

    A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.

  • 0