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The jokes

What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?

The dinosaur once existed.

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."

Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."

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    • What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

    Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

    What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

    One of them has a POINT:)

    I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

    A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"

    The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

    The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

    The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."

    The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

    The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

    Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

    Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)

    What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

    I don’t put fruit in a blender.

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    • Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.