The jokes
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.