The jokes
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Which month is the bus? December.
Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
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Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.