The jokes
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.
"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"
The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"