Back

The jokes

Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?

Because he didn't have enough space.

My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?

Me: Yeh, of course.

My Bff: Ok which one?

Me: You know... the black one.

Me: Like my soul...

My Bff: Jeez you ok?

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

  • 2

    • What is the difference between a car and a tree?

    A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.

    Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?

    Because they were using the computer and thought about it.

    What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.

    What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

    Then you get the name Chrisa.

    If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.

    What is the difference between a human and a bird?

    A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.