The jokes
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?
A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?