The jokes
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
What’s the difference between morbid humor and dark humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in one trash can, and morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...