The jokes
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Why did the monster đ§ââď¸ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. đĽđ
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didnât spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon.
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.