The jokes

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

Orphan: I want to kill my parents.

Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy.

My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

The songs: We understand you :)

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  • Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.

    The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”

    As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

    My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."