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The jokes

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."

The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?

The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?