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The jokes

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

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    • Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says, "moo moo."

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"

    Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says mo mo.

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

    What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)

    What does the ocean do to its friends?

    It waves.

    (*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

    Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.

    Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

    How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.

    How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.

    An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

    A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

    What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

    We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

    Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

    Guys, put more comments in.

    We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

    Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!

    If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?

    That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)