The jokes

Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.

What's an orphan's favorite football game?? The homecoming.

For all the online haters on me, comment here, be honest.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

The Blonde got a Ph.D.?

Yeah, like that would ever happen.

Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.

What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?

Broken plates.

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?

You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.

What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.

What is the difference between an American and a computer?

An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.

My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"

"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Who disliked the rooster joke, come out now!

What did the rooster say to the hen? Goodbye.

Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?

The orca Don-tist.