The jokes
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Where are the multi's? Where are they at? The placations?
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.