The jokes
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
Website Records
Most Likes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5aea13992886f22c3e98bd88/why-are-priests-called-father
Most Dislikes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5a6f42308b40a83af3dda515/today-was-a-terrible-day
Worst Dislike Ratio: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b5293efa5535a611745773c/guys-go-ot-httpsworstjokesevercomjokes5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go
Most Comments: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website
All records are as of March 11th, 2021.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!