The jokes
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
Yo mama so fat, she the ice burg.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the ground crack? Because of your mum!
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.