The jokes
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?
Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!
Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?
Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?
Bianca: It's Bianca!
Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
Why do orphans not like the iPhone 11 Pro?
A: Because it doesn't have a home button.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?