The jokes
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home is... *sniff*
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!