The jokes
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Want to hear the worst joke ever? Then look in a mirror.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.