The jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."