Stimulus payment jokes

Pickup

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

Robbery

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Trampoline

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

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  • Money

    What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

    If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

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  • Church

    What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

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  • Community