Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
