Step-in jokes

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.

The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."

God busted out laughing and let him in.

The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."

God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."

Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.

What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.

"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in. He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.