Splay jokes

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

Trees are so social. They're always branching out.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.