Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
yo moms so old she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
You're so ugly, even the twin towers got a better upgrade than you
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
