Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Your hairline is so bad not even god could save it
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
Why are white people so white?
Because they forgot to urine on lotion.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Your hairline receeds so far back that it defends your forehead
why did jordan cross the road so he could get to his house
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home", they only had one option
Why do orphans commit crimes?
So they can be wanted for once.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
