SOS jokes

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.

You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

"Hey, today was great!"

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car!"

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

Your hairline is so bad even Ariana Grande stopped singing because of it.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Roses are red,

Potatoes are brown,

Your mom's so hot,

I put her down.

Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.

Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.