Sleep schedule jokes

Night

Me: I been up all night, no sleep--

The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.

Me: stfu! I’m just singing!

Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!

Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!

Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......

Mom

Me: Mom, I'm tired.

Mom: "Then go to sleep."

Me: No, you don't understand-

  • 8
  • Memes

    Machine

    I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

  • 3
  • Day

    Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".

    Community

    FUCK I WOKE UP AT 8:30 THEN WENT BACK TO SLEEP AT 9:50 THEN FUCKING WOKE BACK UP AT 1:00 AND MY BROTHER WON'T LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP.