Slaughter Jokes

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

Why did ze cow cross the road?

yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

I work with animals!

What do you do?

I’m a butcher.

At a date:

He: "I work with animals every day."

Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

He: "I'm a butcher."