Side walk jokes
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don鈥檛 hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn鈥檛 laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I鈥檇 be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that鈥檚 where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn鈥檛 laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 馃憢
I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.