Shut up

Shut up jokes

Midget

    • This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

  • 2

    • Farmer

    • A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

  • 1

    • Mom

    • Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

    Name

    • There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

  • 5

    • Orphan

    • I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

    Now I can’t get it to shut up.

  • 0

    • Butt

    • A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

  • 2

    • Name

    • One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.

    Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"

    Orphanage

    • A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

  • 4