Shut up jokes
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
Omg, shut up guys!
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!