My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard
But it’s a hearty meal
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? moooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime
A alien goes to area 51 but what I wonder why he doesn't go to your house
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N Oh my gosh I'm peeing on my shoe no one knows about it yet
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked. "Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied. "Heard of what?" "Herd of cows." "Of course I've heard of cows." "No, a cow herd." "What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
lets tell a secret about each other...ill go first i hate you
Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?
Mom: no that's impossible
Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right
Mom: no no please don't tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you
Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^
👌😂😂😂
I was out ice fishing, and had no nibbles all morning. About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg." I said "Excuse,me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said." Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
i am really gay just needed confess this
Yo' Mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
How do you becomes with Nato. Promise no more world wars, by secretely peforming miltiary practises behind their back
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
My girlfiends a porn star
She kill me if she found out
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
