Off jokes
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and f**k off).
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Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and fuck off).
Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password
Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password
Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.
leoxchingchongbingblachheroine https://worstjokesever.com/@leoxchingchongbingblachheroine Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)
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Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.