Off jokes

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

I love jumping off cliffs.

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?

To take care of his erectile dysfunction.

I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.

Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.