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No jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.

“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.

The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”

Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.

The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.

“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.

“Does your dick touch your asshole?”

“No.”

The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.

“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.

“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”

“Yep.”

“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”

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    • What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

    I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

    A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"

    The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."

    I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

    Knock, knock.

    "Who's there?"

    Cow says,

    "Cow says who?"

    No! Cow says moo!

    I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

    I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

    What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

  • 6

    • Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

    Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

    Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

    Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

    Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

    Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

    Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    A funny joke scenario.

    Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

    Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

    Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

    A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.

    Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

    Man: "Yes!"

    Reporter: "Name?"

    Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

    Reporter: "Sex?"

    Man: "Three to five times a week."

    Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

    Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

    Reporter: "Holy cow!"

    Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

    Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

    Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

    Reporter: "Oh dear!"

    Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."