No jokes
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
Why can't an orphan have a website?
... No homepage.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
Why can't the orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to...
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
Why canβt an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call βdaddy.β
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
I only have 4 moods:
β’ fuck this β’ fuck that β’ fuck me β’ fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
β’ fuck yeah β’ fuck no β’ fuck my life β’ fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
β’ fuck it
and for those who have just given up
β’ fuck
This is beautiful.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
Why can't orphans have a girlfriend?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Why can orphans convert to Catholicism? Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Orphan: Let's play baseball!
Girl: No, you can't.
Orphan: Why?
Girl: Because you can't find home.