Middle of the Road jokes

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?

It went with the traffic jam.

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.

My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."